Strength
by Ankh-Ascendant
Summary: 4th in the series of Magnificent Bastard, Pain, and Tears. Mokuba thinks about how strong Seto really is. MokubaSeto


Strength

Author: Setosgirl

Pairings: Mokuba x Seto

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. I don't own Seto. I don't own anything, because I'm a communist ( )

Summary: 4th in the series of _Magnificent Bastard_, _Pain_, and _Tears_. Mokuba thinks about how strong Seto really is.

Words: 963

Rating: PG-13

I used to watch Gozaburo beat you. I felt sorry for you, and I always cried while I watched it. I hated seeing you cry.

It's strange how things change so much over time.

You used to be so strong. Even more so after you killed Gozaburo – and don't even try to deny it, I know what you did. You talk in your sleep, dear Seto. It's actually kind of pathetic. I hear everything you say, and so much of it is so soft and mushy… Mostly you apologize. To me. Don't you understand that the last thing in the world I want are your apologies?

But then, when I was twelve, it seemed like everything in my life changed. Even more so than when our dad died. You were cold and strong and I could respect you… and then Yugi came along and changed that. He made you weak. Pegasus made you weaker. You couldn't protect me, like you promised, and Yugi had to save us. I was so disappointed in you. And I lost a little more respect for you every day.

But you were still the strongest person I knew. Not Yugi – he has too many weaknesses. Like his friends. Plus, even though I know he can't help it, he's not physically powerful either. He's small and weak and relies on others to protect him, or he tries to stand up to his enemies and gets beaten to a pulp. Some say that's noble. I know he's just stupid.

Power… strength… Those things are the only things that really matter. You used to understand that. Then you lost it, and I had to show you again, like Gozaburo showed you. But you wouldn't learn. It was like you were actually trying _not_ to learn! The first time I hit you, I was just mad. And I cringed away because I thought you'd beat my ass for it. But you just looked at me and then turned away, and I realized you wouldn't fight back. I still don't know why.

The next time I got angry at someone, instead of trying to bottle it up and make it go away, I hit you again, and it felt good. And all of a sudden, I understood. I understood everything that Gozaburo had been trying to teach you that you had never wanted to learn. About strength and control.

I had wanted to control. I wanted to control everything, and everyone, and I found out that I couldn't do it. Every time I got one person under my control, there was always someone else to take care of. And then you made me realize what Gozaburo meant. I realized that he had controlled me completely without ever touching me. He had used you. And I knew what that meant. To control everyone, you don't need to control everyone individually. You can't, in fact. It just takes too much effort, and there are too many people. But… if you control the strongest person, the person everyone else knows is strong, the person who controls everyone else… then you have control. Complete, utter control.

To control the world, you only have to control the strongest person in it. At that was you. And now it's me.

Around the same time, when I was twelve, I hit puberty, and I started remembering what Gozaburo did to you. I didn't hate to see you cry anymore. I used to think about it in my room at night, remember how you looked when you were lying there in the floor with his shadow falling over you, and you were bloody and crying… and it excited me. I was ashamed of it at first, I thought it was wrong, but I would jack off to that vision… and before too long I was on Gozaburo's place. It was my shadow falling over you. I was the reason you were crying – the one who had all the power.

I knew what I wanted to do to you… but just in my mind. I never even thought about actually doing anything to you, like that, until I just lost it one night when I was fifteen. Then I realized what power was all about. I thought I knew before, but until that night, I was just playing. I had the power then, though. All the power. And it felt good.

You were mine – completely, utterly mine. I never wanted to let you go. I never wanted to lose you… or the power I had over you. It was intoxicating… I was high on you.

I've tried other things, when I couldn't hurt you. Like at school – you're not there. I once beat a kid up so bad he had to go to the hospital, but he never told on me, because I told him I'd kill him if he did, and I never got caught. I found a hobo once and killed him. I never got caught there either. They were both okay… but nothing special. Not like you. I'm done with that. From now on, no one but you. You're the only one for me, Seto.

To everyone else, you're still strong. The strongest person they know. Sure, you're quieter than you used to be, and a little jumpier… you always wear clothes that cover you completely… but still the same strong Seto Kaiba they've always known. That's good – that's exactly how it's supposed to be. Because if you weren't strong anymore, I don't know if I could have any use for you anymore. I'd have to find whoever else had become stronger than you. And, even though I know I'd still love you, that wouldn't mean anything. I'd just have to leave you.

So thank you for staying strong.

The End

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Copyright © Setosgirl


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